A Tale of Two Cities

Different cultures have always interested me. It is fascinating how humans can have such a vast array of values, languages, politics, forms of art, sports, etc. We all share the same quality of humanity, but environment has such a significant impact on how each person experiences that humanity. 

One of the main values for those who work and volunteer for Hope Tech is to listen well. Josh, my boss and founder of Hope Tech, always encourages us to be good observers of our community. To be in touch with the heartbeat of the community is crucial. To feel its fears, concerns, longings, and joys will not only inform us on how to be most helpful, but will also build trust-filled relationships with members of the community. 

I have spent the last year listening and observing the students in my classroom, community activists, and next door neighbors. And let me tell you, I still have a lot more listening I need to do. I have a very different background and culture then most of my students and neighbors. I didn’t grow up in a place like Oak Park, a diverse, urban, under-resourced community. I grew up in a town 30 mins east, El Dorado Hills - I mean, you can even tell by the name how different of community it is - a very white, upper, middle class suburb with excellent schools and a plethora of resources. My students and I grew up in two different worlds. And yet, interestingly enough, the more I observe the more I realize just how similar our two worlds really are, even though they look completely different.

While I love the richness that different cultures bring to our world, at our core, our humanity makes it so that we really aren’t so different after all. The deepest parts of our humanity are all crying out for similar things and hurt in similar ways. We long to be loved, yet we struggle with loneliness. We seek happiness, yet depression is ever lurking. We crave respect, yet we feel like we never measure up. These are the things that drive us all, whether you’re in the hood or the burbs - it just expresses itself differently.

J. Cole, in his song “Chaining Day”, raps: 

“Image is everything I see, it’s got a lot to do

With the way people perceive, and what they believe

Money short so this jewelry is like a weave

Meant to deceive and hear [a guy] say I see you….

The real strange thing about this iced out Roley

It’s the same [stuff] that a [guy] get gassed at

Same [stuff] a rich white [man] laugh at

Well laugh on white man, I aint paid as you

But I bet your rims aint the same age as you”

In this song, J. Cole opens up about the temptation to spend his money on things like fancy jewelry or a Rolex. His watch is a status symbol that he knows will earn him the respect of other men in his culture. He then goes on to say that men of a different culture, rich white men, think an “iced out” Rolex to be tacky, not understanding the respect it earns in a culture different from their own. And yet, the rich white man has his own status symbol: a new car. The honest hook of Cole’s song explains it all: “I need you to love me, love me.” Every man, every human, is driven by the same need for love and respect. Why is it that, no matter the culture, humans tend to equate material possession as the means to earn love? The status symbols might differ, but the driving factor remains the same: the need for love, respect, and acceptance is in us all. 

Just as material possessions act as a veneer to cover what we feel is lacking, so is the difference that separates our distinct worlds. I say this not to minimize the differences between cultures but to highlight the sameness in our humanity. Right now our world is being torn apart by hostility; palpable is the tension between cultures who do not understand or respect one another, while understanding and respect are the very things they seek from each other. I believe the answer is a simple one: listen. Our world desperately needs good listeners - those who listen for the sake of knowing someone better rather than to reaffirm their own bias. At the very least, humble listening will allow us to understand people very different from ourselves. At its greatest we will find the the love, respect, and acceptance we’ve all been searching for.

Hope Tech gives me the precious gift of uncomfortability. It provides a space for me to interact with those whose stories and cultures are very different from my own. As I listen, observe, and engage with my students I am learning to value some of the very things that make me uncomfortable while seeing the intimate similarities we share as people. So friends, I leave you with this challenge: listen with the motive to hear the humanity in another, look for commonality from those different than you, and experience love.